THEATRICAL CALAMITIES - Practical Jokes

PRACTICAL JOKES



& End of the Show Stress Breakers

-Here in the U.K. we have the phenomena of the summer show. Usually in seaside towns, they usually involve a TV name, with Dancers and a support Act. Three seasons ago in Great Yarmouth, Little and Large, popular comedians were hosting the summer show at the Britannia Theatre in Great Yarmouth. The Musical Director, Andy, was a nut-case and played a series of practical jokes throughout the season - concentrating on the dancers (who had resisted his manly charms all summer!) Anyway, on the last night he played the entire show wearing a pirates costume, complete with black eye-patch. Towards the end of the show he finally got his own back on the dancers. The number was big spender, where the girls take four white chairs and sit on them with the seat backs towards the audience with the girls 'straddling' the back. Innocent enough, except he had photocopied his face with his tongue out and had stuck this picture on all four seats - which the girls reluctantly had to sit upon!-Paul Johnson

-I was the sound guy for "The Music Man" here in Blue Springs Missouri. It was the final dress rehersal before the big night. The scene in the town square had a big water fountain in the middle. Well along with a few other pranks that night the fountain had been rigged with bubble bath. When Prof. Herald Hill came onto the stage the fountain was just overflowing with bubbles. The Director was laughing but he wasn't when he saw the fountain was still a little bubbly the opening night of the performance. -John Ebert

As Ebeneezer Scroge in the Thunder Bay Theatre's Christmas Carol I could FILL this web site! It was an experience like none other and by closing night we were all a bit loopy. My good friend was playing Bob Cratchit and decided that I needed some stress relief. So when I came skipping in at the end and told him that he was getting a nice big raise...he fainted. Straight as a board, backward- fall fainted, leaving me standing there holding my hat saying "Good heavens, Bob! Are you quite all right?" -Aaron Orear

-I was the stage manager for the Mines Little Theatre production of UTBU in Fall 1998. For those of you who do not know the play UTBU (Unhealthy to be Unpleasant), it is FULL of sexual nnuendos. In one scene, William Uggims is about to be handed J. Francis Amber's Oscar. His line is, "I feel like pinching myself. William Uggims, you are about to hold J. Francis Amber's . . ." and stops as he is handed the Oscar and procedes to stroke it. This was good for a number of jokes before performance. In searching for a plastic Oscar, we found a number with labels such as "Best Friend" and "Smartest Person" then the prop master found "World's Greatest Sex Partner." We covered the label with black gaff tape so he would not see it until closing night. Unfortunately, the label came off with the tape. This prompted me to make a more suggestive label:"This award presented to Dan (the actor playing Uggims) from Oscar. World's Greatest Sex Partner." As he was suppose to stroke it,! We covered the statue in a thick coat of Vaseline. The most amasing thing is that nothing happened. Dan didn't even skip a beat. We ended up giving him the Oscar after the play for being able to keep a straight face. -John Flynn

- I was doing a production of "Li'l Abner" in 1982 in Portland, Or. Someone in the chorus thought it would be fun to play practical jokes on everyone. I was aware that he had put real whiskey in the jug Abner drinks from. Since the jug was normally empty, I tipped the actor off beforehand so he wouldn't choke. I was not exempt from the prankster. I played Pappy Yokum and at the end of the show Pappy reads a proclamation leaving Dog Patch as it is. As I start to read the actor playing the tax man is supposed to stop and turn around. That night the procamation was not the same prop I used every night. I opened the paper and there was every obsenity known to man. My mind was racing and I kept thinking, "I can't say that...I CAN'T say that!!", and for the first time in my career I went totally dry. I could not think of anything to adlib. The actor standing next to me played the sherrif. I thought I would be real smart and so I handed to him and said "Here Sherriff you read it." His ad-libbed reply was "You know I can't read Pappy" and handed it back to me. By this time I was sweating more than bullets. To this day I'm not sure how we ended the show but I think someone in the chorus started singing the finale. -Dennis Clancy

-My story takes place in Judge Memorial Catholic High School It was closing night for the mainstage show "The Curios Savage". In the story of this mental institution, one of the patients pretends that she has a child (john-thomas) which is actually a doll. For some reason our head sound guy didn't like the doll. Some of the first mean things he has done was. 1. Built a small cross, and crucified him during rehersal. 2. Made a noose and hung him from the ventilation room stairs. 3. Stuck his head in the piano during rehersal. You must understand that this doll was a treasured toy by the actress. On the last night, he put together a small electric chair and connected a 300 amp camble with an extention to on of the dimmers. It looked great and was really funny.
-Daniil Efros

-After spending many years as a techie I decided to see what it would be like to go onstage. I auditioned for, and was cast, as Cheswick in "One Flew Over the Cukoos' Nest" at the Fairfield Community Theater in 1990. During one of the rehersals I made the grievous error of tapping one of the more experienced thesbians on the shoulder to remind him of his blocking. The actor stopped the rehersal. hed demanded to know what I was doing and upon being told, shouted out "Why do I have to work with one of Jerry's Kids?" He then screamed at me to let the director give him his blocking and to never touch another actor while ontage if it is not in the script or blocking. At this time I felt like I was five years old and had committed a crime akin to lighting the house afire. I was then told by this "seasoned pro" that the theater group we were working with behaved in a professional manner and it's actors were expected to do the same. All I could do was apologise to him for my inexperience. Well as we got nearer to opening night I was suprised to find that this "actor" had not been able to memorize his lines and had to hide his script to use in line run through. I was shocked to see this professional use a trash can in the backstage wings as a toilet before going onstage. Now I knew that I could never let him get away with what he had done to me. The question was "what should I do?". His character called for him to keep a prop with him at all times. It was a shoebox filled with different items that he collected and was using to make a "bomb" with. During intermission of closing night, I "loaded his bomb" for him with odds and ends that I dug out of my cats' litter box. He went the whole second act rumaging through his bomb with his fingers wondering where the new additions came from. the audience had no clue as to what was happening and I had a great closing night for my first show.
-Matthew Cohen

-I was the Prop Mistress for the 1990 production of , "Sound of Music" for Pleasanton Playhouse in Pleasanton CA. As it was the final show, I was guarding my props so as to fend off the usual "closing jokes." The actress playing the Maid decided to add some food props to her tray. As she walked around stage, I could see the other actors start to smile and laugh. She had slipped dog biscuits onto her tray and was offering them to the "guests." What she forgot was that all the audience in the balcony could also see the "dog biscuits" on her tray!!!! - Joan Evans

-While running the Follow Spot for "Cheaper by the Dozen" for Thuder Bay Theatre in 1994. Having time between cues, I would run errands for the light board operator or stage manager. This, called for leaving the light booth threw a trap door, down under the house and into the basement/prop/costume room/big black pool of water. Of course with only ghost light. As this was a scary venture, I hurried along and back up to the box office. One day this prop caught my attention. A horrid head piece all hot glued around a hockey mask. It was creepy. Of course, I couldn't resist and wore it up threw the trap to scare the pants off "lights" and stood in the light booth and caught the attention of the children on stage. They had a real hard time keep character after that. A good excerise for the kid don't you think. -Christine P. Carriveau

return to Theatrical Calamities home page

  • Fire Arms & Special Effects
  • Bloody Accidents
  • Live animals - who steal the show (or don't show at all)
  • Audience - who think they are the show
  • "Star Struck" the problems with that darn lead
  • Improv - funnier than the script
  • Set design - gone haywire
  • Props with a mind of their own
  • Theater hauntings
  • Technical Difficulties
  • Opening Night Jitters

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