Xander woke
early, well early for them anyway. He
gazed for a while, at sleeping vampire next to him and sighed. How had he gotten himself into this, how was
he ever going to get himself out again and did he really want out anyway? They had both been lonely; he knew that and
both had lost true love time and time again.
Had both seen vulnerability in each other? Spike needed him as much as he needed Spike.
He got up and
went to the refrigerator. Behind the
bags of blood, were eggs and mushrooms.
He took them, put them into a jug and made himself an omelette in the
microwave. Then he went back to bed to
eat.
Spike began to
stir. “Good morning, Wil’.” How long had it taken him to become
comfortable with that? “Want some
eggs?”
“Morning Sweetmeat and no thanks.” Dulcet English tones rang out. Even the accent gave him the horn nowadays, where it had only irritated before. Now that voice absorbed him with its sensual depth.
Xander carried on
eating as Spike rolled over, so that his arm fell across the young man's
lap. Lying there, prone, his breath
should have been warm, damp, tickling against Xander’s leg. If he’d had any breath of course.
Xander couldn't
even tell if Spike was asleep again. So
different from Anya, so much less scary than Faith, so much more compassionate
than Cordelia. If anyone had told him
three months ago that he would be sharing his bed with a vampire he would have
so laughed. Not only sharing his
bed. They were lovers, orgasm friends.
– Anya, how long had it been? The pain
of her death, that had been so acute, so crippling, was now a dull ache in his
chest and stomach.
He had assumed it
felt the same for Spike over Buffy. In
the aftermath of the battle against Glory, Xander had hardly given time of day
to the vampire. Anya, insisting she was
fine, went back to work but the headaches and gotten worse and worse. The strike from the girder had caused a slow
bleed into the brain and soon his beautiful Anya had been admitted for emergency
surgery. They had been so scared. He’d had the priest called and married her,
there, at the bedside. He had explained
as best he could about mortality, but it was still a shock when it happened, in
an operating theatre, so far away from him.
He never thought he'd recover.
No one would have thought he'd find solace in a vampire. An ostensibly male vampire at that, but here
he was and there Wil’ was.
He shook his
tousled head, “Gotta go, Wil’. Be
good. Don't frighten the neighbors.”
“Oh please.” Whined Spike, but he was joking and fell
back to sleep almost immediately.
Spike woke up at
about four in the afternoon. He roused
himself from slumber and lumbered towards the fridge. He moved the eggs and half a punnet of mushrooms to find the bags
of blood behind.
“What was he
doing?” He thought as he tossed the
blood bags into the microwave. “Making
breakfast.” Answered the internal voice
that could have been his demon but was most likely to be his inner child. “Petulant toe rag.” He grumbled to himself.
He poured the
warmed blood into a large soup bowl and settled down to feed.
Why was he here
again? Oh yes, the boy had needed
him. Almost as much as he had needed
the boy, as he did need him. So much
warmer than Angelus, so much kinder than Dru, so much smarter than
Harmony. If anyone had told him three
months ago that he would be making puppy eyes at the child, he would have
ripped open their skulls and pissed on their brains. Not only making puppy eyes.
He was allowing himself to be shagged stupid, “Don't call me stupid!” –
Buffy, how long had it been? The pain
of the death that had been so acute, so crippling, was now a dull ache in his
chest and stomach.
He assumed that
it felt so much worse for Xander over Anya.
After Glory’s defeat he had taken Dawn home, looked after her and cared
for her, as he had promised he would ‘til the end of the world. Or rather until Social Services decided that
it wasn't healthy. He had raged against
the decision but Giles had explained, rather gently for the Watcher, that as he
couldn't even appear in court or swear any form of oath, though he had cursed
few just to prove himself, he was on to a loser before he even started. Dawn was better off as a ward of court, with
Giles as her guardian.
He found solace
in a drink bottle until Xander came to dry him out and bring him back to the
land be living! “Where I just so want
to be.” He complained.
Xander got in at
about five. He dumped his tool bag and
belt on the floor, took off his boots and headed for the shower. Then he did a double take. “Have you been sitting there naked all day?”
“No I’ve been in
bed for most of it.”
“But what if my
parents had come down? That’s the
washing machine. Even my mother has to
occasionally do the laundry.”
“I'll believe it
when I see it. Anyway no danger –
vampire hearing.”
“Oh yeah – bat
ears.”
“Any more bat
remarks from you and its tickling time.”
“God, I love
you!” Thought Xander.
“Fuck, I love
you!” Mused Spike.
“And just how
were you proposing to explain your presence?”
“Well I thought –
Hi I’m your widowed son’s, undead, bisexual lover might be a laugh.” And then again…Xander raised his eyes to
heaven and without another word went to the bathroom.
The phone
rang. Spike considered answering it but
then changed his mind and allowed the machine to do its job. It was Giles.
“Was that the
phone?” Xander came dripping out of the
shower.
“It was Giles.”
“You answered
it! Really, what part of discreet did
you miss?”
“I didn't answer
it and which part of lovers did you not get?”
Spike glowered at the man-child, who was lickably wet, in front of
him. “We got to go to Giles for a ‘team
briefing’. Then yous and me got to
talk.”
The drive over
was a mixture of affection, amusement and annoyance. It wasn’t that Xander was ashamed or embarrassed by the undead
being he had been so intimate with for the best part of two months. “OK.
Who are we kidding here? Spike
could turn embarrassing into a new Olympic event.” He thought to himself. It
was just that he couldn’t even form an explanation in his own mind, let alone
demonstrate to anyone else, that grief hadn’t finally driven him completely
crazy.
They got out of
the car. Spike was ‘all hands’ as
usual. “Behave.” Muttered Xander, giving his honey his best
‘or else’ stare.
Giles and the others were gathered in the living room. Willow and Tara were side by side and hand
in hand. “See they don’t have issues
with public displays of homosexual affection.”
Said Spike internally. Dawn came
down the stairs from what must now be her room. She plumped herself next to Spike. “Huh and Little Bite doesn’t have a problem showing friendship
towards the undead.” His inner narrator
continued. “So what’s all the brew ha
ha?” He asked out loud.
“I’ve just been given a final briefing from the Council.” It was well known that after Buffy’s death
Giles had been recalled to England to report to the Watcher’s Council.
“And what do those stuffed crows want?”
“Your head on a stick to begin with, Spike.”
“And there was me thinking they were vampire experts.”
Giles went on, daring with a look, any other interruptions. “We are to stand down. There will be no further slayers sent to
Sunnydale. They are even wondering
about whether to raise another slayer at all.
The bloodline now goes through Faith.”
“And what with her being crazy and in LA and in jail and I’ll be quiet
now. Listen this is me, being quiet,
except its not, so I will, now.” Tara
looked sympathetically at her girlfriend while Giles just looked.
He went on. “But we have a
problem. We are still on a
hellmouth. Every local demon knows who
the Slayer’s friends are and we have made ourselves an active part of the
fight.”
“Well who’s fault was that eh?
You were her Watcher. Slayers
are supposed to be separated from family and friends. One to stand alone, not one to stand gossiping with her chums.”
“Glass houses Spike. Remember
picking a side?” Spike glared at his
lover. That was cold. What was he trying to prove? How much he hated the vampire?
“Whatever the errors of the past.
It is the present we must deal with now. We live on the Hellmouth.
We, as a group, know more about the interaction between good and evil
here than anyone. Mayor Wilkins built
this town for demons to feed on but these are our friends, relatives and
neighbours. We either walk away or we
stay and fight, and for all the victims of this place, I say we fight.”
“Now that was worthy of Henry the Fifth. Hurrah for Giles, Sunnydale and St Buffy!”
The assembly turned to look at Spike but there was no mockery in his
face or tone. “What? I want to stay here too you know. I promised to look after Nibblet until the
end of the world and I’ve nowhere else to go so ‘fraid you’re stuck with me.”
“Oh lucky us.” Said Giles with
more than a hint of sarcasm.
The conversation moved from the discussion of the Hellmouth into how
everyone was, Xander’s work, Willow’s magic and Dawn’s report card. The meeting broke up finally with a promise
to get together on a regular basis.
When they got back to the car however, Xander could tell that Spike’s
mood had darkened, and by the time they were home, he was positively bristling.
“What is it Wil’? What’s
wrong?”
“Oh I’m Wil’ now am I?”
“You wanted me to call you Wil’.
You asked the first time we…you know…did it. And I know if I’m doing it I ought to be able to say it.”
Xander remembered the first time; right after Spike had finished
telling him about who he really was.
They had gone to bed and it had felt so right, Spike’s coolness, his
angled body, the taughtness in his muscles.
He had taken Xander in his mouth.
Shown him just how well he could suck cock. Taught Xander to do the same.
He had guided Xander in preparing him for entry, although as a vampire
it wasn’t really necessary, a little pain and blood would have merely
heightened the experience, it was fun and Xander had been rewarded with the
screw of his life.
“Yeah too damned right you should.”
Spike looked as if he was waiting for a response but when none was
forthcoming he went on, “Tell me Xander what is this thing between us. I can’t solve it if I don’t know what it
is. Is it a gay thing, a vampire thing
or a Spike thing? ‘Cos something is
getting in the way of us and I don’t like it.
I weren’t lying in there when I said I had nowhere to go. But do I have a reason to stay?”
His blue eyes seemed to bore deep into Xander’s soul. “Course you do. I need you. It’s just I
need some time too. Confused American here okay?”
“Okay?” He said again leaning
his forehead against the vampire’s and hoping he sounded more convincing than
he felt.
Spike sighed. “Okay.” He put his hand on the car door.
“Where are you going?”
“To get something to eat.” The
gold glint in his eyes told of the hungry demon within. “Don’t worry lover, just like Arny, I’ll be
back.”
He got out of the car and headed back into town, is black leather duster billowing in the breeze.
>>> Chapter
2
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