These are all personal viewpoints, obviously. What else can they be? I
make no claims to realise the whole, the entirety; no claim that we are a
group of insightful fools full of anything more than piss and vinegar at
best. Insightful - that's up to the person in question, not to blood,
however mystically endowed. Inborn talents... inblooded talents are there
to be used, disabused or left unaccepted as the individual wishes.
Possibilities lie within every being, but the realisation of these
possibilities, the creation of that Magnus Opus, the saving of that life,
the strength to allow oneself to love that soulmate beyond self, with all
one's heart and being - that is up to the person in question. Actualities
must be created, possibilities are just that - wasted unless realised.
What does it mean to be a Malkavian?
Here I begin with the past and work forward. At first it meant little. My
Sire was involved more with the Nosferatu of his region than those of the
Clan, and this altered my perceptions in my Neonate years. He, despite his
predilection to drag me bodily out into the sunlight every Sunday morning,
was a good man, and a kind man. Certainly he had his foibles, as we all do,
but generally he cared. Even his attempts to bake the flesh from my bones
was a part of this. He believed that he was doing the Lord's work, and that
he would one day be lifted up in some sort of Rapture as forgiveness was
given unto him. Over the years he attempted to pass this belief on to me,
but despite my respect for him and craving (and fear) for God's saving
light, I spent a great deal of my Saturday nights doing my very best to
find a hiding place in which I would not be discovered. Such ways of
spending one night out of seven aids admirably in the training for
supernatural hide and seek. So, at first, to be a Malkavian meant to be a
Nosferatu, but with a weekly game that resulted in excruciating pain if you
lost. Later I came to understand that my fellow vampires were different to
me in ways that were more than skin deep. Madness, apparently, is the
reason for this, though I still don't see it that much myself. Continuing
on the way one was in mortal life always appeared... merely logical, and
drinking was a part of this I chose as the most enjoyable and thus most
logical part to proceed into eternity with. Other quirks At least, that
was the way I put it to myself. So, to be Malkavian meant to walk a fine
line between existence and incineration in those nights.
Next... oh, who really wants to read an excess of personal history?
Suffice it to say that what it means to be a Malkavian has altered as I
have passed through unlife and is something that really has to be looked at
from year to year, if not night to night. Despite what some might see as
outward signs of it, I am not a static entity; fluid plays a large part in
my existence, after all. Presently, to be Malkavian means duty and
responsibility - to those I am supposed to be looking out for, the ones
less able to take care of themselves. Whether they appreciate this or not
is neither here nor there. The foolish can learn, eventually, or they can
be wasted, by their own choice, refusal to or inability to make choices.
What draws you here, of all places?
Habit, perhaps. Maybe nostalgia. It was supposed to be a place of
creativity, of shared ideas, of Malkavians gathering. It still is, but the
Summer time has passed and the growth of discontent, of lethargy and of
self interest at the cost of others continues to wax within the Winter
time. Eventually we will all go under the ice forever or Spring will
return. Before either happens there will continue to be those hacking away
at the on rushing glaciers with tooth and claw, arm and steel,
intelligence, frivolity and mayhem. They are worth the visit. They are
worth assisting.
What is it that binds us all together?
The ties that bind best are those that are chosen rather than those
imposed. I choose to be here, but in essence that question is one for the
entirety of the list and thus one that I cannot answer. Once it was a sense
of community and shared spirit, while now.. in some of us it is a sense of
bloodymindedness, when one really gets down to brass tacks. The rest? They
can surely speak for themselves.
What is it that *you* are looking for?
The return of Spring, or Gehenna. Battles to fight, thoughts to think
upon. A touch of elegance amidst the loads of dross.. without the need for
style without substance. The key to the liquor cabinet. Laughter for its
own sake. Bright copper kettles and warm woollen mittens. Altruism. Lots of
things.
What do you want the list to be?
A place for Malkavians rather than a social club or battle ground for
Cults of Personality. Oh, and for you to answer these questions too,
questioner. Fair's fair, after all.
What does Malkavian mean to you?
Rum and blood and madness and creativity and death and honour. In a
nutshell. But that's me, again.
