by Mr Badger
They stood outside a deserted industrial complex that was just out of town. Funny how these places always seem to just be laying around like that? Anyone who has read a Dark Future style novel knows you just can't move but for deserted industrial complexes cluttering up the countryside. For proof just watch Batman movies or TV programs but I digress.
The recruits stood in a long line with sunrise coming up shortly. Being new to this vampire thing they weren't too sure what the sun would do to them but even the most gung-ho realised it wouldn't be a good thing. They were dressed in a variety of styles and came from a variety of ethnic groups. No-one has ever said the Sabbat aren't equal opportunity employers. They were a little nervous as it was just the other day they thought that to stop breathing was not only a bad thing but things generally didn't get much worse after that. Well they were wrong. With the first rays of the sun breaking out from behind a nameless metal building with more catwalks then a fashion show a striking figure strode out in front of the recruits.
Mr Badger was dressed as usual but for a change carried a riding crop under one arm. Instead of a leather rectangle at the end of it there was a small steel spade blade. Badger had seen that to be a leader you must carry one of these riding crops around all the time. He just hoped you get a chance to hit people with it later on.
"You are the most pathetic bunch of wet pantied no-hopers I have ever had the misfortune to come across! I close my eyes in horror to think it's only the likes of you between this sweet world and the bug ugly antediluvians! How the children of this world sleep safely at night knowing that the most dangerous thing out there looks like a seedy accountant! Well I'm here to change that! You may think your mother in law is a scary beast but soon you'll know she's nothing but an amateur! We're the Sabbat! We're the Boogyman! We're the things that you were afraid of that walk the night! What are we?" Screamed Mr Badger, right in the face of the first vampire in line.
"We're Sabbat?" Whimpered the Volunteer.
"I CAN'T HEAR YOU!" Screamed Mr Badger even closer to the volunteer's face.
"WE'RE SABBAT!" Screamed the volunteer as she really got into the theme of things.
"Wrong! Try again!" Screamed Mr Badger as he gave the volunteer a playful tap with the riding crop across the knuckles.
"We're in deep shit?" Asked the Volunteer.
"Well done," said Mr Badger as he gave the volunteer a Sabbat Snack (TM). "This is going to be the worst time you will ever have. Before I'm done you'll be begging for the Final Death on your hands and knees. I'm not a relentless taskmaster, well actually I am so you don't have a hope but get over it! You're going to learn how to growl, how to leer without looking stupid; you're going to learn how to give an Evil Gleam (TM) and before I'm finished you're going to learn how to play nasty. But before I start is there anyone here who doesn't feel up to this and wants out?"
A well dressed businessman took a step forward from the line. "Well actually I don't feel this meets my idea of a goodtime. I'll just wonder off and not bother you any longer then," mumbled the businessman.
"You little maggot! I didn't give you permission to leave! I just wanted to know who was unhappy so I could run them little harder into the ground! Drop and give me twenty!" Screamed Mr Badger.
"Push ups?" Asked the unfortunate.
"Push ups are for little girls! I want to see twenty cups of coffee go down that worthless throat in as many seconds or it's The Box!" Sneered Mr Badger.
A passing Black Spiral Dancer heard mention of The Box and fled away from the camp screaming with its hands in the air. Tremere himself came out of Torpor and shuddered at the mention of this foul torture before resuming his astral search for a pair of sunglasses that would fit given his 'condition'.
The businessman managed about half a glass before the time limit ran out so Mr Badger had a pair of burly Gangrel take the victim off to The Box. The Box was in the centre of the courtyard and was stored inside an ordinary cardboard box. After being chained to the conveniently placed pole in the ground, knowing that he could go free if he solved the puzzle inside, the businessman unwrapped the parcel and found inside a kitset children's bicycle with instructions in ancient Egyptian or so the diagrams seem to the untrained eye. The businessman screamed and sat sobbing with his hands holding his head.
The recruits were getting nervous at this stage as some of the sunlight was starting to make its way across the courtyard toward them. Mr Badger had made sure he was placed inside the shadow of the training building so was safe from the hot, hot burning stuff. A number of recruits were looking sleepy as their new nature was taking hold. The new Setite was looking exceptionally unhappy and the odd whimper came from his mouth. Mr Badger heard one of these and marched down the line until he was within spitting distance of the recruit.
"What's wrong mister? Little eyes feeling a little teary? You're just a big girl's blouse! Harden up before someone uses you as a napkin! (sorry Riahanna) Your ego's writing cheques your body can't cash!" Shouted Mr Badger with a clichˇ everyone could see coming a mile off. "Get down and give me twenty!"
The Setite drank the coffee and more within the allotted time. Mr Badger smiled as he led the recruit away for further training. 'This one will go far' he thought to himself.
"You wouldn't have a cup of tea would you?" Asked the Ventrue recruit with no thought for her future existence.
Mr Badger spun around but before he opened his mouth the Ventrue was struck by lightning as Mr Badger's paradigm doesn't allow for this option. The ashes scattered to the ground and the other recruits stood even straighter if that was possible.
"Excuse me Sir, but I'm actually a Fae, they picked me up by mistake. Something about my aura," explained the Seelie recruit.
"Well we can't have that can we. Follow me over here in the general direction of the meal tent and we'll discuss this over a bite to eat," smiled Mr Badger. Due to a bizarre training accident the Fae recruit was unfortunately drained to death by the Command staff later on. Oh well, too bad, unlife goes on.
The training continued over the next few weeks. The new vampires were taught how to lick the wound after feeding if they felt like it and the Toreador were taught how to lick the wound before feeding as is the Clan's wont. We won't go there though. Casualties grew in time with the recruits skill. The Tremere recruit fell to the wayside after an unfortunate accident involving bubbling beakers and an undiagnosed case of colour blindness. The Gangrel recruit was picked up by the Dog Ranger and later adopted by a suburban couple. The Toreador recruit spent just a few minutes too long looking at his reflection in a pair of mirror shades during the late hours of the evening. The Lasombra recruit kept telling people he was 'tragically hip' and was killed in a training accident involving a 10 tonne weight and a smiling Badger. The Assamite recruit practised her Celerity too often and after reaching 88 mph in a flat run went back in time and wasn't heard of again. The Tzimisce recruit used to be an airline captain and as such she grew bored of having to sleep on a piece of 747 fuselage every night. She was shot by airline security after refusing to explain why the metal detector was going off and exactly what she hiding under that jacket.
Still you can't make an omelette without breaking a few heads, I mean eggs.
What happens to you after the Creation Rites (TM) ?
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