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With horror written across their faces the two cry out, "Australian Tremere!!!!!"
"Ah. New Zealanders. Or would you prefer 'Kiwis'?" With a slight smile which gets nowhere beyond his mouth the impeccably attired figure moves forward a little. When he sees Badger's increased attempts to attack him his smile widens and he asks the struggling Handel, "Does your little friend have some sort of problem with my clan?"
Thankful that Badger is still not fully recovered from his fall, Handel attempts to maintain a little dignity and speak at the same time. "No no. Nothing like that. He simply has an aversion to those who wear Ray-Bans during the night hours. It's a reflex thing that he has no control over - something to do with a Toreador in his past, I believe. If you would care to remove your sunglasses we can talk like civilized beings." Handel makes a seemingly insignificant gesture with his hand and eye.
Sunglasses removed and eyebrows raised, the Tremere makes a corresponding gesture. His attitude becomes slightly less superior. "I see. I didn't realise. Your aura is particularly . . . peculiar. If you have your servant under control, please accept the hospitality of my vehicle to remove you to the chantry."
For once, Badger is silent. His eyes have narrowed during this conversation and even he realises that Handel is playing a dangerous game. In a state of apparent docility and subservience he enters the car and sits beside the driver while Handel takes up a position in the spacious rear with the Tremere magus. Both Malks make small talk with their respective companions and introduce a few pieces of mind alteration into the conversations. The young Kindred driving notices nothing untoward, while the elder in the rear is all too aware of the powers of Dominate at work - after all, he is applying his. Unfortunately, he is unable to affect the lower generation Handel and by the time he has realised this, is in too deep to get out. . .
After arriving at the Chantry, they remain in the car in the enclosed carpark, dissecting the two Tremere - both literally and figuratively. Badger is somewhat amazed at the extent of Handel's obvious hatred of the clan and finds himself taking notes at some points during the interrogations. "We're really not all that different are we?" He smiles.
Handel is so intent on his work that he doesn't even notice.
Some hours after it first arrived - strangely no-one has gone to investigate why - the forms of two Tremere exit from the limo and lock it after them. One is dressed as a chauffeur with peaked cap and the other wears a suit worth a fortune and a ring worth even more. The aftershave of one seems a little strong, whilst the other regards the surrounds a little too much like a predator, but other than that they seem normal.
"Right," says the suit. "To the elevator and the sub basement levels, Badger. Whomever they've taken is down there. I thought I felt something on the way over."
"Trust the Tremmies to get in bed with whatever this thing is," snarls the chauffeur. "You should have let me diablerise those two bastards."
"One, we don't know if they're in league with it or are simply trying to figure out what's going on themselves, and two, you know how I feel about the Amaranth."
"Yeah, yeah. So you say, but I'm not so sure. Hope we have the chance to burn this place to the ground." They enter the lift and he continues more quietly. "So, you think it's fiend, huh?"
"I don't know. I think that's who I felt." They head down, and the elevator stops with an audible clunk. The doors do not open.
There is a catch in Badger's voice as he asks,"Is that ring supposed to be glowing like that?"
"Hell." Handel struggles to take the source of the burning smell off his finger and it clinks to the floor, continuing to increase in incandesence. "Well, that's stuffed it. So much for the sneaky approach." Pointing at the door, he says,"Open please Badger," and draws his sabre.
"ALRIGHT!!" Badger pops his claws and gets to work.
* * *
Outside, Brother Sanbenito puts away his rosary and turns to the three other members of his order that, by the grace of God, survived the fall initiated by the satanic creature inside this very building.
"Brothers," he begins. "We have been guided unto this place which is rank with the foulness of the undead for a purpose. It is surely God's will that we enter and make the servants of Beelzebub pay for their existence and the deaths of our brethren with an eternity in the pits of hell." A fanatical light enters his eye. "Cleanse and purify!" He leads the way to the front door of the imposing building as the others draw out weapons they have just recently obtained from the local Cathedral. . .
A blast of high explosives and True Faith goes off, ripping apart both physical and mystical barriers. Inquisitors have entered the building.
Down below the doors of the elevator fall in accompaniment with a resounding clang. Malks have entered the sanctum.
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"Ok Badger you distract them and I'll sneak round the back," says Handel as he disappears from mortal eyes.
Right then, a room full of merlins with genetically engineered death machines, all looking for blood, mine. I need a plan. Deep in his head Mr Badger hears a sound ahem! He looks around and sees nothing other then the horde of violence coming his way. Ahem!!! Then he remembers. Mr Badger looks deep into himself. Deeper then his thoughts generally go and down near the bottom lives a little entity he calls Trev, others call it the beast. "Ok Trev how about you and I give these motherfunsting a good bit of size 11 hobnail?" Throught you'd never ask Mr B As Trev gets closer to the surface of his mind Mr Badger finds his perceptions changing. Gone are the Tremere in their robes. Now in their place stand life size renditions of Bugs Bunny. Grrrrrrrrrrrrr! Gone are the warped servants coming his way. Now he sees a number of Sonic the Hedgehog clones. Yes!!! This is more like it.
The world turns red behind his eyes. Claws extend from his hands and his fangs show. His senses come into focus. Mr Badger is gone and the Beast reigns surpreme.
* * *
Two forms fall to the floor. They were Tremere with particularly good abilities in seeing what doesn't want to be seen. Their heads seem to have fallen off just as they were about to point at something that isn't there. Silly buggers.
* * *
The beast leaps out of the elevator. It stops for long enough to rip the neck out of a passing Sonic. So slow, so very slow! Before they turn the Beast has reduced their number by four. Still the room is full of cute creatures. The Beast can taste their blood on the air and on his claws.
It is vaguely aware that some of the blood has been altered drastically, but this is of no consequence to the killing machine. Several forms have fallen over, eyes glazed and stomachs churning, before the claws have got to them.
A door that had been carefully guarded seconds ago is now wide open, its electronic lock hanging from wires and sparking fitfully.
To long has it been since the last time it hunted like this. A Bugs across the room starts to gesture in a wild sequence. The Bug's robes fly in strange patterns designed to attract the eye. Organ music fills the air from out of nowhere. Lightning flys through the air at the Beast who steps aside. The bolt misses its intended target and rips apart a waiting Sonic. Game over thinks the Beast as it starts to twirl around on the spot. In an instant all the Tremere can see is a whirlwind centered around the attacking Malkavian.
* * *
Ignoring the gruesome sounds of carnage behind him, Handel makes his way towards the controls of the tractor beam holding the ship here . . .no, that's not right. Flickering into sight, he leans against the wall, hands to his head. Too much time thinking for Badger and himself is beginning to take its toll. . . toll. Please have exact change. "Where are you Spooke?" He looks wildly at his perfectly ordinary hand and tries to rub the blue out of it. Pirate smurf stumbles along the passageway, his cutlass held ready.
* * *
When in Australia do as Australians do thinks the Beast. It attacks like the Tasmanian Devil of cartoon fame. Blood fills the air as opponent after opponent is left in its wake. Torn and bloody corpses lie everywhere.
Occasionally someone gets lucky and Badger blood falls to the earth. This is soon replaced as a hairy arm reaches out and graps a chanting Magus. The body is whirled around in time with the Beast. Soon it is released to fall drained and empty to the floor.
* * *
"Carol," cries Handel. "Are you there?" He kicks another door in to see more symbols, candles, wards. "Where is she?" he screams, knocking over one of the braziers with a wild swing of his sabre. "Ca - ro - line!" Turning, he continues up the passageway. In the slowly dying flames the damage to the holding circle can be seen on every second flicker. Something dark trails through the break in the chalk and reforms beyond its bounds. It raises itself fully and, after turning its misshapen cranium this way and that, heads quickly in the direction of the sounds of battle.
In his present state Mr Badger is unable to sense the dark and overwhelming presence that rises behind him. Another Tremere is ripped from crotch to sternum. Above him, ready to rend, the malformed creature's features twist in an expression of disgust as it feels its bond to this realm destroyed. "Bugger." It says as it discorporates. A few motes of cinder make their way to Badger's pelt.
Time passes....
There are no enemies left. All have fallen. I'm off, see you later Mr B! Mr Badger returns to the front of his mind. He sees the carnage about him and is happy. A smile crosses his face as he laps up some blood off the floor. Time to leave.
* * *
Upstairs the Inquisition is making fast headway through the house. Brother Semper Fi has already left a few smoking piles of ash behind the advance. Brother Sanbenito looks about for more heresy.
"Look about Brothers!! Demon spawn everywhere!! Stay not your hand in fighting these wretches for they are already lost to the world!"
Brother Ad Astra sets fire to a dinner table for it has consorted with the Spawn of Satan once too often. Father Zahn looks on in disgust. First big bust since the Boy Scout incident of '73 and they're acting like a bunch of children.
"Forward Brothers and show no mercy!!" Cries the Father to the three others. Out of the corner of his eye the Father sees movement. A hail of gunfire rapidly demolishes a vase of flowers. Father Zahn lowers his Uzi (Holy weapon - thanks to Macho Women with Guns (TM)!!) and gives an embarassed smile to the others.
"They were Demon tainted flowers," he offers an excuse. The other crusaders smile and nod as any sane person who didn't want to be up all night saying hail Marys or painting the Father's mansion in Miami.
The men of God go lower and lower, into the underground chambers. They find little to be self-righteous against since they staked and burned the two Servants of Satan they found in the lobby. A lot of high-fiving and backslapping went on after that one. It took a group hug and a couple of YO!!'s to get the team back into line. Opening the final door at the bottom of the stairs they are greeted by a scene out of Father Zahn's most wild fantasies. Everywhere are the evil Unholy Hordes of the Fallen Angel in pieces.
"Hmmmm much suffering has occurred, jolly good," thinks the Father. Underneath the table is a robed figure with a Van Der Graff generator inserted in a particully sensitive area. Even worse it is still switched on.
"Have to remember this one for home," ponders the Father. The sounds of vomiting come from the direction of Brothers' Ad Astra and Semper Fi. Clearly the scene was not visually pleasing .
"Right lads torch the place and lets go get the rest of them," cries the Father. He wants to be far from this place before the Police arrived. They may have heard of the Boy Scout incident of '73.
"What others Father," says Brother Semper Fi as he wipes yesterdays lunch off his mouth. Father Zahn points to a very clear trail of blood and body pieces leading out of the chamber down a passageway. The crusaders jog along to further the cause.
* * *
Handel has reached the prisoner, who is contained in a glasslike sphere that reminds him somewhat of the bottom half of a rum bottle available 150 years ago. For the last 3 minutes he has been making highly distorted grimaces at the inhabitant by pressing his face against the outer surface. Having forgotten about Carol again he appears to have recovered his usual outlook on life and is playing with the idea of taking the sphere to a fill- your- own and seeing how much they would charge him.
A tapping from within draws him out of his reverie and he remembers the purpose for his presence here. "STAND BACK!!!" His sword swings at the glass and rebounds, not making an impression on its surface. "Smurf!!" He swings again with all his might.
Boing
Standing back, Handel takes a good long look at the sphere. The figure inside keeps putting off his thought processes by gesticulating wildly. Just as he is about to get annoyed he catches on to the idea that the Malk might be pointing out something of interest. Moving around the glass in the prescribed direction he reaches a door in its surface. At that moment, Badger rushes into the chamber.
"You've found him then. I've been having fun. What is this thing?" Pushing Handel aside he opens the one way door and helps the inhabitant out. "It's a Malk alright," he says grinning,"I can smell it on him."
Looking wildly around to avoid eye contact and hoping the released prisoner doesn't say anything, Handel sees a particularly flash item. "Wow, he says. "I bet this is what they used to grab him." Drawing closer to the huge, silvered mirror he extends a hand to the surface he is sure will ripple like smurfberry juice. It does so before he is able to touch it. Something is coming through . . .
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Spitz paused, sniffed. Blech. Smell of dead rabbit. Dead for a while rabbit. ...maybe this was Mr.Badger's den??... no, this is it. Spooke. Knowledge. "None of us have it, all of us know it. We just know."
scrumble thump
Inside now. Find Chriss.
Spitz's eyes fell on a bundle of infant-smelling blankets. Pale hair, pale face. Grin. Come closer...
slurp
Isn't waking up to a wet lick and a cold nose great??
* * *
Darkness. Spooke sat up, creakily. Stretched, then froze. "Spitz??"
No Spitz!! Alien Tremere smurfs must have abducted him and taken flamingoes and... no, wait. He went to get people. Oh yeah. Slightly disappointed, Spooke put down the shotgun and gave an armful of air a hug.
"Cootchie cootchie!!" The air wagged it's non-tail and left.
Stumble over to the chair. Tv... "Bah! Gargamel looks for smurfs? ...how interesting," Balthazar muses. click "Something big is going down, and I want some back up..." the gummi bear moans, watching his boat sink.
#Want's some back up??# Spooke thinks, confused. #Why not all of it??#
Spooke bursts into a smile. He can give Handel a present!! "I always wanted to deep-sea dive," he says to himself happily. click
Airplane is on tv. Yikes. #But I love to fly.# Too bad about the crew. click
"Where are you Spooke?" Pirate smurf stumbles along the passageway, his cutlass held ready. Spooke sits up, a gleam in his eye and a thrilled grin on his lips.
"Oo!! Oo!! I've been CALLED!! We do the dance of joy!!" But after a minute, it occurs to him that dancing isn't getting him anywhere. Abruptly his demeanor darkens, and his eyes turn flinty and cold.
Time to go visit the Tremere. I have exact change ready.
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